Never meant to die

She was so beautiful with her white dress, her long blond curls, and the white roses I had given to her in her hand. I told her that and she smiled and looked down, suddenly shy, still not used to getting such compliments. Had it really just been a month since she told me about her feelings for me? Everything had gone from being ordinary and boring to being extraordinary fantastic. But what if she hadn't had the courage to talk to me? I hadn't been brave enough to do it for the three years that we had gone in the same class, and I surely wouldn't have been in the one month that was left before we'd both start at new schools. I was so sad that I might never see her again, but then, that Friday afternoon in the beginning of May, she talked to me. I still couldn't believe it had really happened, that it wasn't just a dream.

Now she looked at me and sighed.

"What?" I asked, suddenly worried.

She sighed again. "I forgot to give Ms Johnson her gift."

"Oh... I was supposed to remind you about that, right?" I suddenly remembered what she'd made me promise her only a few hours ago.

"Yes." She smiled a little.


"It's okay," she said. "I'll just run back with it now."

"Okay, I'll go back with you."

"No, you shouldn't walk more than you have to with your foot, it'll just make it worse." She smiled at me. "Just wait here, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Okay," I agreed, not wanting to argue with her. I kissed her on the cheek and watched as she ran towards the school, her hair flying like gold in the wind.


It had only been about ten seconds since she turned around a corner and I lost sight of her, when I heard the most terrible sound; the sound of shrieking car-brakes. I stood paralyzed for a moment before I started running against the sound, against the place where I had the feeling that something had just gone terribly wrong. I didn't feel the pain in my foot, I didn't think about what could have happened, I just ran for my life because what I had heard was the sound of disaster.


It was just a moment before I turned around the corner, but it took a few more seconds before I was able to fully take in the scene. It stood an old red car in the middle of the road, and next to it was a girl in a white dress, her blond curls spread around her, laying in a sea of white roses. The rest of the world vanished around me as I ran to her side, screaming her name. I shook her to force her to wake up, repeating her name again and again, and I was just barely noticing the chocked car-driver calling for an ambulance. People was gathering around us, crying, but I was too focused on her to see or even hear them. She wasn't breathing, why wasn't she breathing? I had to make her breath again, she couldn't die, but it didn't matter what I did, she just wouldn't start breathing! By the time the ambulance came I knew it was too late. She hadn't taken one single breath since I got to her, and when I looked for her pulse she didn't have one.


Later at the hospital, when I had seen a number of doctors running in and out of her room for what seemed like forever, a kindly-looking nurse came to talk to me. I saw all her words in her face before she said them: "I'm so sorry, she didn't make." And with just those few words, the whole world came crashing down at me. All this time a small part of me had been denying that she was dead, saying that the doctors could save her, that I wasn't a doctor so how could I be so sure she was dead? Now that part of me died like the rest of me, and left was a deafening silence and hollowness. Then finally the tears came, slowly drowning me in sorrow, but I didn't mind, all I could think about was that she was never meant to die.


Little did I know that I'd see her again, much sooner than I could ever have imagined... In the most unexpected way.




(This novel  was for an assignment in English class and is over a year old, so I apologise for any mistakes in it)


the darkness
is swallowing me
always waiting
until I'm vulnerable
creeping up on me
a shadow
a cloud
hiding the sun
it's dark
so dark
fumbling for my music
pressing play
surrounded by sound
my music
chasing away the darkness
too slowly
but it has to

En blogg fylld av poesi, böcker och noveller.

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